Monday, January 13, 2014

Letter From an Eighth Grader: Why I Should Get an iPhone.

I don't own a smart phone. In fact, my cell phone is so old, I have to connect with Clara the operator before placing a call ("Clara, I need you to get me Hank at the slaughterhouse. This can't be beef.").

While my wife also has, for lack of a better term, a dumb phone, college freshman daughter number one is the first member to benefit from perpetual Internet availability. And ever since she received an iPhone for high school graduation, thirteen-year-old daughter number two has pined for one, dropping enough hints to put Ralphie to shame. At least every two weeks for the last nine months she's been trying to grease the parental wheels with well-placed selling points about the benefits to her—and of course us—of buying her a smart phone.

And now this— actual documentation. For the record, I received her permission to publish, but you know, I didn't confirm:


Why I should get an Iphone
An essay by L. H.

Hello there. So your probably very hesitant to read this, but I’m telling you, keep pushing through. I know your whole thing with an Iphone is that I don’t need it, I need to pay for it, etc. Your probably looking at each other with a skeptical look right now. Again please push through. In this I will convince you why I should get an Iphone.

Ok the first reason why I should get an Iphone is for school. At school I’m always faced with the issue of not having a smartphone to research something. The teachers always say “Ok if you have a smart phone you can pull it out and use it for the ___” The reason they say this is because they have the problem of not having enough computers for kids. This is due to budgets that Seattle Schools gives them. (Stupid Seattle Schools.) So if I had an Iphone, I could just whip it out and save the day. Just kidding it wouldn’t actually save the day, but it would be a lot more convient for everyone.

The second reason why I should get an Iphone is for the actual phone part. My phone that I currently have now doesn’t really work. It doesn’t receive all calls or texts. When I do answer calls they the sound quality isn’t the best. Iphones are known for the outstanding quality in service. They also are known for amazing picture quality as well. So when you need me to I could take my phone out and take an amazing picture that could be in our family for generations; for example our Christmas card picture. Z took our beautiful candid shot with her handy dandy Iphone.

Now getting down to the nitty gritty. I don’t think I spelled that right but whateves. The cost. Yes for Iphone you do have to pay a fee of $30 a month. As you know I get an allowance of $40 a month. I could pay for my data with my allowance and have balance of $10, but for the amount of food I need to buy each month I don’t think that would be the most preferred method. But I also would be willing to work as many chores as you like, no questions asked. Not even one. Not a single one. Ok I think you get the point .So that was my essay on why I should get an Iphone. I hope you guys enjoyed this because I honestly put a lot of thought and effort into making this. PLEASE take this into consideration. If you don’t I will respect the decision as mature adults.


         Thanks! Love,
         Your daughter L. H.


Hmm. Pretty convincing. We received her proposal Saturday night and slept on it. Sunday morning, following further negotiations and a few tweaks regarding exactly what housework would be required and how much of a dent the purchase would make in her coming birthday present, the two parties reached a settlement. 

Did we cave as some parents do for their second children? Are we too worn out to rekindle battles of yore? Maybe.

It could simply be a decision made by mature adults.

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