Monday, June 23, 2014

She's back.

To honor the completion of her freshman year at Western Washington University, I've composed this tribute to my first-born and her joyous homecoming.

Sung to the tune of “Back in Black,” by AC/DC:

Zoe’s Back

Zoe’s back.
Her shit is stacked
In the hall and on the kitchen counter.

Yeah, she’s hangin’ loose.
Trying to choose:
Watch Grey’s or nap for half an hour?

She’s got a job.
I hope by God
She can stick it out for sixty days or so.

It’s for the Y.
Your little guy
Has a brain that’s just like Zo’s.

‘Cause she’s back.

Oh, my back.

Yeah, she’s back.

You know it, Jack.

Well, she’s baa haa haa haa haack.
Baa haa haa haa haack.
Zoe’s back.

Her crap is still unpacked.

Back to our shack
Comes the power pack.
Six meals a day, not including snacks.

Yeah she loves to hang
With her gang,
Instagramming selfies with the cat.

Well she watches sports
Always in her shorts,
Only gets up to pee and refill Goldfish.

This soon will end.
When we send
Our angel off to pull her weight.

‘Cause she’s back.

That’s a fact.

Yeah, she’s back.

Step on a crack.

Well, she’s baa haa haa haa haack.
Baa haa haa haa haack.
Zoe’s back.

From the land of Hacky Sack.

Please insert Angus Young solo in its entirety. 

‘Cause she’s back.

She gives us flack.

Yeah, she’s back.

She wants some slack.

Well, she’s baa haa haa haa haack.
Baa haa haa haa haack.
Zoe’s back.

Pour me a Coke and Jack.

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