1) The dental hygienist showing me how to brush my teeth (For a really long time, like ten minutes).
2) My daughter getting salsa in her hair (This probably shouldn't have annoyed me, but it did).
3) The elderly lady at the gym offering to fetch me a sweat towel, when I already had one (Okay, so I sweat a lot, but it's not like I'm dripping H1N1 all over her rude self).
4) The guy on the bus who sneezed on the back of my neck (Actually, more gross than annoying).
5) My own parental decision to let my nine-year-old watch Titanic, and that night having to lie down with her because she was haunted by imagery of frozen bodies in the North Atlantic (You'd think I'd have this dad thing down by now).
6) The United States Congress (I know, that's some low-hanging fruit right there).
7) The Seattle Seahawks, whose green alternate jerseys blew out two cones and three rods in my right eye, thereby rendering me unable to see color for three days.
Oh, yes, there are others, but I've already worked myself into enough of a grumpy old man. Now get off my lawn.
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