Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Ten reasons why I love Sarah Palin

The top ten reasons I'm thankful that Sarah Palin has chosen to remain in the media spotlight:

1) It's nice that she can now spend more time in the lower 48, close enough that most of us can take in the enchanting aroma of her Love's Baby Soft.

2) Her folksy tone helps my cat's constipation.

3) I appreciate having more opportunities to listen to her speaking, since I still can't decide whether her husband's name is Todd or Tad.

4) Not being governor of Alaska frees up time for her to meet with the President of Africa, or to maybe take in a NASCAR race in Alabama or some other part of South America.

5) I've invested a ton of money in a one-syllable-word company, and she's driving the stock price sky high.

6) I almost laughed so hard that I choked on my mouth dam when my dentist barked out, "Drill, baby, drill." So cute and so fun.

7) It's great to see her try her hand at stand-up comedy on Fox News.

8) I simply cannot wait to hear what inanimate object the next male baby of her family is named after. It could be Truck or Tree or Tire or Tool...

9) It's invigorating to hear her expound on her no-nonsense, conservative positions, such as "Who needs New Mexico when the old one ain't broke."

10) At the rate she's going, her opponent in the 2012 presidential race could be the rotting carcass of something she shot from a helicopter, and she'd still lose in a landslide.

1 comment :

  1. AND...don't forget, she made writing on your hand cool again!