Friday, June 18, 2010

Lakers-Celtics: True fashion pioneers

Who ever said that fashion doesn't exist in the athletic arena?

Every year around this time, we get the opportunity to view a little runway show in the form of the National Basketball Association playoffs.

Last night, the Los Angeles Lakers won their sixteenth NBA title over the Boston Celtics, who already own seventeen championships. Since these two juggernauts possess over half of the trophies over the league's 64-year history, it's become apparent that the Lakers and Celtics are the true face of the NBA.

With this in mind, I've accumulated a docket of the best looking players from the two best teams. Because, as we all know, it's better to look good than to feel good.

Danny Ainge (in green)—not only did his dirty play make him more attractive, but he also popularized the new, super-absorbent jerseys, which have the ability to soak up an exorbitant amounts of tears.

Jerry West—He looked so good, he became the logo.

Kevin McHale—a great player, who also looked great in the suit. He's one of those fortunate types who was born with a couple of extra ribs and one additional knee.

Wilt Chamberlain—One of the first players to accessorize with knee pads, head and wrist bands, Wilt was known for his outstanding play even after the game. He once claimed to have taken on at least 20,000 fans in personal games of one-on-one during the "fifth quarter." He showed us all why they're not called "trunks" or "bottoms"...they're shorts.

Larry Bird—another highly attractive man, who would have been even more foxy if his shorts hadn't been so tight, they made his face sag.

Kurt Rambis (in yellow)—Mr. Rambis was a true pioneer when it came to endorsements. During 1984 alone, he raked in over $130, representing both LensCrafters and Scotch Tape.

Bob Cousy—"Hey kids. Fix Dad a bourbon and we'll hop in the Edsel and go see President Eisenhower at the Elks Club."

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar—All kidding aside, this guy was awesome. In this image, he's shooting his trademark "sky hook" over a helpless defender from the now-defunct Seattle SuperSonics, my former hometown club. I always hated the Lakers, but loved Kareem.

Brian Scalabrine—Looks a little out-of-place in Celtic green, sort of like he won the Massachusetts "Be A Celtic For A Day" lottery. I see a lot of guys like him in Home Depot, looking for the best deal on Weed-n-Feed.

Pat Riley—A lot of us know him as a Hall of Fame coach, but he also had a different look during his days as a player for the Lakers. Four words: I got you babe.

Okay, so I wasn't a Laker or a Celtic. In fact, I didn't even play in high school. I just wanted to finally share the disappointment I felt when I viewed this picture in the yearbook, knowing that they cropped just barely above my sweet new tube socks.

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