Friday, September 24, 2010

Katy Perry's got nothing on some of these old shows

There goes that Katy Perry, shaking things up again.

If you haven't already heard, she taped an appearance for Sesame Street with our red buddy, Elmo, wearing a bustier and singing a kid-friendly version of her hit, "Hot N Cold." Rather than describing it, here's an actual image:
Apparently, the show was slated to air this fall, but was nixed when a few thousand parents voiced their displeasure after viewing a leaked version on the YouTubes.

I doubt that Elmo objected, however. Keep in mind, he's really a puppet, and the puppet's mouth is operated by a human hand, which resides mere inches Ms. Perry's green-bedecked cleavage. Sunny day, indeed.

I'm not sure what the big deal is. Kids have been bombarded with disturbing imagery on their televisions for years. I did a little research, and I think you'll agree that Katy is quite tame when contrasted with some of the children's shows which aired across our fine land during the 1950s, '60s and '70s. You be the judge.

We all know this guy. I can't look at him any longer, because he freaks me out. I pray for the child in this photograph every night, right after I pray for mass-produced jet packs before I die.




This disturbing image is of Flippo the Clown, who terrorized young people in Columbus, Ohio. Holy sweet mother, enough clowns already.







These two are Duane Elliot and Floppy. If you're trying to look sexy for all the moms, you lose a bit of street cred with the dog puppet.








Grandpa Happy? I just can't imagine saying to my kids, "If you don't stop fighting each other with spatulas, it's no Grandpa Happy for either of you."













Wow. I never realized it was possible to film a children's show from a prison.














Romper Room was definitely ahead of its time in reaching kids on a personal level regarding the evils of drugs.





I'm sure Mr. Goober was funny enough, as long as you weren't eating anything while watching him and his sidekick, Nosie, The Green Oyster.












This is "Iowanna-Pow-Wow" and "Trader Milt Boyd." I have a lot of concerns about this pairing, especially if they're somehow related.








Hopefully, kids already knew they were special, and they didn't need some guy who thought he was Merv Griffin telling them that from the set of the Sonny and Cher show.




You can't just put on a hat and think that we'll ignore the fact that you look like that creepy guy at the end of the bar.








I can't end this post hating on every kids' show, because there were so many good ones. I watched a non-creepy clown named J.P. Patches, whose program was shown twice daily on KIRO TV in Seattle. It aired from 1957 until 1981, and I'm sure I viewed every episode from 1962 onward. He's a local icon, probably much like some of the above characters with whom I'm not familiar, so please don't take offense if one of them is super nice and visited you when you got your tonsils out.

Here's to you, J.P. Now, please call the folks at Sesame Street and tell them to lighten up.

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