The party of Lincoln is currently out of the office.

Happy November! I do love the fall. Even if it's as murky and cold as leftover moose au jus, there's a lot to be excited about. The holidays are looming, a joyous season of revelry and salty lard. 

And football—football, America's premier celebration of conquest and domination, is in full swing, even on Thursdays! Okay, it's not lost on me that staging Thursday night games, usually only four days after a team's previous game, can be hazardous to these players' health. My best argument against that, I suppose, is that I really enjoy watching football on Thursday night so they should definitely keep having these games.

How are things going in your orbit? Family's good? Job's bearable? Bladder's not screaming out like a chafing toddler with double pinkeye?

Good, good. Glad we're all on some decent footing here. Because I am nervous as shit about next Tuesday. Actually, I don't even know if "nervous" describes the emotion. Other languages include words describing more nuanced meanings than English can accommodate, words like backpfeifengesicht, which is German for "punchable face". Here's how you might see it used in a sentence: "Der Müzzerfücher Drumpf hat das backpfeifengesicht." Then you're supposed to pick your nose with your left hand and drink.

If there is a word anywhere that describes the unprecedented fear of democracy's imminent death, it defines the feeling that takes up a nice portion my current emotional baseline. The election of 2020 provided a little bit of a respite, an opportunity to crank the timer back a little. But we knew this was coming, and now, here we are. 

In the aftermath of January 6, 2021, who would have predicted that the instigator of it would be the GOP's capobanda going into the midterms? Who didn't think the guy was toast? That's when I realized it's not about him, it's about his voters and their grievances. They're pissed and they want blood. Even so, are there enough of these voters to actually defeat democracy? 

Definitely in some places, which is frightening. Couldn't you see Ron DeSantis seizing dictatorial powers in Florida? I can imagine him forcing school kids to wear little military uniforms with those white shiny rain boots that he likes. 

Or Ted Cruz could attempt to wield his newfound fascist authority by requiring everyone in America to watch his hilarious new sitcom, Teddy Didn't Do It. Turns out he's a natural when paired with Esther, the Giggling Goat. 

In truth, there's nothing funny about these people. Some present themselves as religiously oppressed conspiracy believers with little to no critical thinking skills and a profound distrust for mainstream media and factual data, while others come across as little more than crafty sociopaths attempting to slake their insatiable thirst for power by any means necessary. The party of Lincoln has gone the way of bubble gum ice cream with real bubble gum in it.

Okay, well, on that note, have a nice day. 

Holy shit, what times we live in. I do hope that, whatever happens, wherever you are, you are healthy and happy and that you're able to turn this shit off every once in a while. Unfortunately, the Nazis will still be there when you get back. There's still a lot to be grateful for, like you, and it's something I need to remind myself of from time to time. Thanks for listening.